It's time to be a big girl...

So far in the span of my adulthood I am not a big fan. Being an adult is not all it's cracked up to be. However, I have learned something very important this past week. I have always made decisions on pleasing people. I am very much a people pleaser. I rarely can be "selfish." I am so concerned about hurting others feelings or stepping on some one's toes that I forget to think about what I might want or even what God wants for me. So, through some recent events I have been learning that I need to start considering myself sometimes. I spend too much time and energy worrying about what others might think of me and seeking their approval. Let me define others; co-workers, supervisors, random people on the street, acquaintances, etc. However, these people may be people that I may never seen again. So, why should I spend so much time wanting their approval? The answer is I should not.

There are 4 categories of people that I already have approval from and will never have to worry about their opinion of me. God, my husband, my family, and friends. These are people I will actually have in my life the rest of my life and they are already big fans of Cassie. :) I am not saying this to sound conceded. What I am saying is that we spend so much time worrying about the approval of people. I have found out the hard way that this is something that only causes me time and grief. I have so many good people in my life that already approve of me, no questions asked.

So I title this blog "it's time to be a big girl" because I am going to start standing up for my needs more when it comes to decisions. I think this is what God has taught me through all the drama I have experienced lately. When I learn something big like this I like to share. I hope it helps someone else. So please know that you are great and God already approves of you just the way you are. My pastor (uncle) talked about this at church today. He brought up the story in the bible that talks about the woman who touched Jesus in the crowd. He reminded us that in that culture women did not have the equal rights and respect we do today. Basically it was better to be a dog than a woman. So if Jesus took the time to stop his journey to see a very important man to help this woman who had faith, I think he has the time for the rest of us. And we definitely have his approval. We just need to be reminded of this sometimes.

So what does this mean for me? I think it means that my worry gets in the way of God's plans for me. I spend too much time worrying that someone will not approve of me that I do not look at the future and see the big plans God has for me. So I am moving out of the way and am ready for God to show His plans full force. I am excited to the plans He has for me, for I know they are for hope and a future.

Our Wedding Day

June 12, 2010 marked the happiest day of my life. I got to marry my best friend. Our wedding was everything I hoped it could be. It reflected who we were and it was fun! There are so many people that played a part in making it a special day for us. Our parents and families were extremely helpful. The whole day would not have come together if it were not for them. My bridesmaids were also amazing. I think we had the coolest wedding shower in the history of mankind. Seriously, the girls went above and beyond. I have wanted one thing my entire life and that came true at our shower. Three words, Dr. Pepper Fountain. Yes it was awesome. Then on our wedding day I had my fairytale wedding. I had my grandpa marry me, the most beautiful flowers, my best friend since I was 11 as my maid of honor, a very close friend taking pictures, and the man of my dreams waiting for me at the alter. Then at the reception we had a live band, something I've dreamed about for years. Here are a few pictures to mark the event.

My Best Friend

So I'm thinking it would be good to document something like getting engaged. February 20, 2010 will go down in history as the best proposal ever. As we had cheese and chocolate at The Melting Pot our friends Cody and Caryn arrived (surprise 1). Trevor said Caryn was going to draw a characature of us (surprise 2). Trevor asked me to marry him (long awaited surprise 3). Many hugs and smiles were to follow.


To give some history Trevor and I have been dating for 6 years. Ever since senior prom we have been together. While Trevor has many perks (good looks, great sense of humor, awesome hair), what I really want to write about is how he is my best friend.

Trevor and I have known each other since I was 12, but we didn't really start talking until 12th grade. AIM was quite the popular thing to do back then and Trevor and I started chatting. Through all those chats we became great friends and even band mates. Trevor would mention how he thinks you should really get to know a girl before you date them (I never thought he might be referring to me). Needless to say the rest is history.

The greatest thing about marrying Trevor is that he is my best friend. Our friendship was the start of our relationship and it will remain as we become husband and wife. He makes me laugh, makes me feel beautiful every day, and I know that he loves me. I think it is so important to be friends with your spouse. In Genesis 2:18 it says, The LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him." Well, God sure knows what he is doing. Ezer is the Hebrew word which means assistance, support, or help. I am so honored to be Trevor's ezer and companion in life and that I am going to marry my best friend.

Joy vs. Happiness

I realize that I am not very good at this blogging thing. I guess you are supposed to write in it more than every 4 months. My bad. Anyway as I was sitting at home under a blanket I felt inspired to write.

I was thinking about a conversation that I had with Trevor a few weeks ago. It was about being happy. I had been dealing with some hard stuff and I made a comment about wanting to be happy. Trevor pointed out that we can't always be happy but we should strive to be joyful. I never really thought about the difference between the two, but as I let this process I realized how different the two are. Happiness comes and goes. It is not something we can control. It is a state of being and changes with circumstances. However joyfulness is a choice. We can choose to be joyful even in the worst of times. Trevor asked me if I could try to be joyful. I thought it was worth a shot.

So I began to look for joy in each and every circumstance. The one that really sticks out in my mind happened at work. I had been frustrated with my job and was feeling somewhat hopeless about it. As I was leaving the office I saw two kids that were in treatment foster care when I was doing my practicum in college. I knew they were looking for a forever family back then. However, they were at our office because they had been adopted and were having therapy with their new family. You should have seen the joy in their little faces. They jumping up and down and saying Dad a million times. They now had a dad, a real forever dad. They had a forever family and they were overjoyed. As I drove home tears filled my eyes. I remembered why I wanted to become a social worker and in that moment I was truly joyful.

So I would challenge you to look at the differences between happiness and joy. When you really think about it joy is a good way to go.

More adventures in the life of an adult

I have been doing more adults things lately. First as the last post noted I have made my first (big) car purchase. I am now the proud owner of a 2003 Saturn L300. It's pretty fancy and it even has cup holders (a luxury I am not used to). As I called my old car the gangsta car my new car shall now be known as the rice burner (because it reminds me of something off of The Fast and the Furious movie). It is a pretty speedy thing and Trevor is quite impressed with the engine. He keeps opening up the hood to show to his guy friends. When they look inside they all make manly noises so I guess that means it is nice. He tells me if I put some computer chip in it, it would smoke his car. Ha! However, the downfall is that my gas mileage would plummet. So, that will not be an option. All joking aside I really do like my new car. I also have to give props to Trevor's brother Zach because he helped me find the car.

Okay, second adult thing I have done lately is find an apartment. I was looking at buying a condo before the whole car dying situation. So, now that I have that payment I'm just going to have to rent for now. I'm pretty excited about the apartment I found. I got a great price on the rent because their prices fluctuate due to supply and demand. I am going to have a 2 bedroom so operation music room is a go! The music room even has a huge walk in closet that could be used for recording. I am looking forward to hosting things in my apartment as well. I really want to start a young adult group at my uncle's church and now I will have the place to do it.

So, yes those are a couple of exciting things in my life right now. Work is still keeping me crazy busy, but I enjoy it for the most part. I really like my boss and co-workers. We all get along well and it makes for a positive and fun work environment. I will try and put up some pictures of my car soon.

Car drama

So on Wednesday evening my car passed away (aka the cougar, the gangsta car, the grandma car). It lived a good life. Drove me from place to place, dependable, hard working. Yet it was just its time. So, since my office is over 30 miles from my house I figure I'm gonna have to buy another car. Let me just say that car shopping is stressful. I'm not enjoying it (probably because I was not planning to buy a car). One would think that buying a car would be exciting, but it's not. So to all you car buying veterans out there, I commend you. I'm going to look at some more tomorrow and hopefully it will go well. So goodbye to you my gangsta car. You will be missed.

It's been a while!

Well, I must admit it has been quite some time since I have posted anything. I started my job as a social worker and quickly realized how busy my life would be. So, things like facebook and blogging which used to fill my time, have now taken a back seat to having a career. For anyone who doesn't know I am working at a treatment foster care and adoption agency. It is the same place I did my practicum at during college, but I am now at the Albuquerque branch. I have been learning a lot and can't believe that I have been blessed with a job so quickly. An added bonus is that I have insurance! God is good! Some times I wonder why He takes such good care of me and I feel truely blessed. I have my own office which I have recently decorated with very bright colors and have a daisey theme going. I really enjoy all my co-workers and my boss is amazing. She has the same sense of humor and sarcarism I do, so we get along well. But the most amazing part about my job is working with the kids. These kids are so resiliant for all they have gone through in their lives. They make me smile daily and it is so cool to see when they are doing better in their treatment.

On a less exciting note I have had a rather difficult time adjusting to being a real adult. I never thought I would say it, but I actually miss college. Most of all I miss the amazing friends I made in Las Cruces, and I miss Cru (although I am excited to be back near my best friend Rissa again). I just didn't realize how much being involved in Cru shaped my life and how much I would miss it. So, I am trying to find my place in Albuquerque. I am going to my uncle's church (which is awesome) and Trevor started a volleyball group like we had in Cruces. It has been the highlight of my week. We play on Sunday nights on an outdoor sand court and it is loads of fun. It's no secret that I have a difficult time getting close to new people, so I am working on this, and trying to make new friends. Please think of me as I face this.

Okay, so I don't want to end on a depressing note so here is some exciting news! My band is going to play a show! It is at a church in Edgewood and there will be 4 other bands playing. Trevor and I are just working on getting a bass player and drummer. Our friend Mike will be playing bass, but we're not for sure on a drummer yet. We have a guy that used to play drums for us, but he is in the police acadamy and super busy. Hopefully this works itself out soon because the show is August 8th! Music makes me happy and sharing our songs with people is awesome to get to do. Here is a link to the event on facebook for anyone who might want to come. http://www.facebook.com/reqs.php#/event.php?eid=109732606554